Question I Have While Emily Talks On the Phone With Her Mom

Emily is talking to her mom on the phone about Lord knows what. I assume the topics are what Emily wants for her birthday dinner that her mom is cooking her tomorrow night and what each of them has been up to the last 72 hours.

Meanwhile I wait for her to finish her conversation so we can eat our homemade pizzas and watch more of Arrested Development Season 2 on DVD.

While I wait, I surf the web. I read Emily's blog about some cookies she made and leave a comment about how I much I enjoyed said cookies. I sign my name as "Cookie Monster."

Then I am left to ponder the following:

Who has less pride, Cookie Monster and his slobby, greedy eating habits, or Winnie the Pooh, and his shirt but no pants attire.

Those of you who know me, know that I should hardly be the one to cast the first stone in this question. I have a sweet tooth bigger than Dallas, half of my food ends up on my face at mealtime, and my personal attire can be, shall we say, lacking at times. But I'm talking about fictitious charachters.

I will have to give Pooh credit. He is a bit more complicated and layered than Cookie Monster. But Cookie Monster's issues may be neurological. I wonder if somewhere in his file is a diagnosis of Aspergers Syndrome. Look at the signs: Issues with hyposensitivity, obsessive behavior, poor eye contact, pedantic speech centered on his interests, and an inability to monitor his peers' needs relative to his own (i.e. eating everyone else's cookies and/or not sharing).

Even so, I still think he has more pride than Pooh bear. Next time your getting dressed put your shirt on first, and nothing else. Check yourself out in the mirror. Then tell me how much pride you have.

Plus there's that one Pooh story where he ate so much fucking honey and got so damn fat he got stuck in Rabbit's hole. And his name is Pooh.

Seriously. Have some pride.